Chelsea striker Didier Drogba has revealed he lost his passion for football over the summer.
The Ivorian striker endured a troubled end to last season as he was sent off in the Champions League final defeat to Manchester United.
He told France Football: "The hardest thing I had to endure this year wasn’t football related. The death of my grandmother completely struck me down, more than anything else.
"I was very, very close to her and it really made me suffer. I had the feeling that all my childhood memories were going with her. I became old suddenly.
"This made me ask a few questions to myself. I wondered what I was running after.
"I said to myself that it was pretty useless to run after results, stats or rewards.
"It’s true that I didn’t feel a great support. But that didn’t worry me really.
"For a few weeks I didn’t have a head for football anymore. I had completely lost my fire.
"I didn't want to hear talk of objectives or ambition anymore. I felt completely extinguished.
"For the first time in my career, I lost my passion for football. I was lost.
"All summer, I felt bad. I am not looking for excuses. I just admit that, for a while, I put football on the back-burner."
He added: "I felt lonely when the season started in July. Everybody was obsessed with winning their place in the team.
"And I was stuck in the fitness room when the group left for a pre-season tour. I was alone with the machines.
"I didn’t really have anyone to talk to. Every year I have been losing a close friend.
"There was Geremi, then William Gallas, then (Claude) Makélélé. It’s a lot. I went through a big moment of loneliness."
But matters have not improved much for Drogba this season as he has been forced to play second fiddle to Nicolas Anelka.
He said: "For the moment, I just have to keep quiet.
"It's not because I've been here for more than four years that I have the right to have demands on a status of starter.
"At the moment there is a man who is scoring and who is piling up goals. I only have to wait my turn.
"I have always said that I was happy that Nicolas came to Chelsea. But I still don't understand why coaches are scared to play us together.
"I fear I am only being considered as a strong centre-forward able of playing alone up front with fast players on the wings. But I can also adapt.
"All we want is to play together. But really together. Not one in the middle and the other on the left.
"Am I at the right place for 2009? Only time will tell. If we win the Champions League in May, the answer will be obvious."
But with Drogba continues to be linked with a reunion with José Mourinho at Inter Milan, there are still doubts about his future.
He said: "I have only one year left on my contract, so I am going to go with the flow.
"I could plant myself here, but I have the impression that in 2009, good things will happen for me. There will also be surprises.
"But I won’t say more. If I start to speak about my future, I might say the wrong thing and that will come back to haunt me."
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The Ivorian striker endured a troubled end to last season as he was sent off in the Champions League final defeat to Manchester United.
The Blues ended the season empty-handed and things got worse when the 30-year-old suffered a serious knee injury in pre-season and Drogba admits he started to lose interest in the sport.
He told France Football: "The hardest thing I had to endure this year wasn’t football related. The death of my grandmother completely struck me down, more than anything else.
"I was very, very close to her and it really made me suffer. I had the feeling that all my childhood memories were going with her. I became old suddenly.
"This made me ask a few questions to myself. I wondered what I was running after.
"I said to myself that it was pretty useless to run after results, stats or rewards.
"It’s true that I didn’t feel a great support. But that didn’t worry me really.
"For a few weeks I didn’t have a head for football anymore. I had completely lost my fire.
"I didn't want to hear talk of objectives or ambition anymore. I felt completely extinguished.
"For the first time in my career, I lost my passion for football. I was lost.
"All summer, I felt bad. I am not looking for excuses. I just admit that, for a while, I put football on the back-burner."
He added: "I felt lonely when the season started in July. Everybody was obsessed with winning their place in the team.
"And I was stuck in the fitness room when the group left for a pre-season tour. I was alone with the machines.
"I didn’t really have anyone to talk to. Every year I have been losing a close friend.
"There was Geremi, then William Gallas, then (Claude) Makélélé. It’s a lot. I went through a big moment of loneliness."
But matters have not improved much for Drogba this season as he has been forced to play second fiddle to Nicolas Anelka.
He said: "For the moment, I just have to keep quiet.
"It's not because I've been here for more than four years that I have the right to have demands on a status of starter.
"At the moment there is a man who is scoring and who is piling up goals. I only have to wait my turn.
"I have always said that I was happy that Nicolas came to Chelsea. But I still don't understand why coaches are scared to play us together.
"I fear I am only being considered as a strong centre-forward able of playing alone up front with fast players on the wings. But I can also adapt.
"All we want is to play together. But really together. Not one in the middle and the other on the left.
"Am I at the right place for 2009? Only time will tell. If we win the Champions League in May, the answer will be obvious."
But with Drogba continues to be linked with a reunion with José Mourinho at Inter Milan, there are still doubts about his future.
He said: "I have only one year left on my contract, so I am going to go with the flow.
"I could plant myself here, but I have the impression that in 2009, good things will happen for me. There will also be surprises.
"But I won’t say more. If I start to speak about my future, I might say the wrong thing and that will come back to haunt me."
Related links:
Team
Personal
Also see:
